The Best Places to Get Free Coffee in Los Angeles

"When the Great Old Ones are recalled to power someday, they will be summoned right here in the Valley, in a strip mall between an El Pollo Loco and an adult bookstore."

Check out The Best Places to Get Free Coffee in LA - my first time in The Awl; not my first time talking about free coffee, PTA raps, LSD-laced sugar cubes, Freemasons, or the Deep Valley.

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"The truth is, I can’t imagine living without constant low-level embarrassment about my teeth, like the roar of silence in a room after someone turns off the TV."

Meanwhile, on Medium, I published The List. This will probably be the only time I discuss my butt on the internet, so get on it.

Also, while we're talking about Medium, You Have Plenty of Time to Love Them Later is at more than 213,000 views!