Context is for Suckers and Historicists

In going through some old email today (looking for a long-lost scrap that could be stretched and tortured into an article) I came upon the following phrase, totally unmoored:
"I always get Sonny confused with Toucan Sam. Though, come to think of it, that's stupid, because no one would name a bird Toucan Sonny."
Either I wrote that to Aubrey, or Aubrey wrote that to me. But since it's stupid, I'm guessing I wrote it.

Other phrases whose context I have mislaid or willfully ignored:
1. "You'd be surprised how clean many of those dishes coming out of the dishwasher weren't."
2. "Europe will change my life, giving me the soul of a poet, the aesthetic sense of a painter, the passion of a French whore, and the walk of an Italian model."
3. "String cheese is actually a compressed cylinder of mozzarella cheese, so called because it can be peeled apart into various-sized 'strings' and so consumed."
4. "I should calculate my average apostles per sex act."
5. "If I lived in a hotel for 40 years, I would still jump on the bed every time I came in."
6. "If you were to tap yourself on the head with a small rubber mallet, not hard enough to do damage, but hard enough to feel, every weekday for nine hours, then stop, you would understand how I feel about not hearing her voice."